#17

I am writing this all because maybe it has to persist somewhere. The memories started to faint and are substituted by recent ones and all of them about Anthony. When we went to sleep that serene night, it seemed it could have been a one for dreaming with the beach. We spoke about the giant waves of the last season, and the way in that same last season we wanted to leave them behind and get to Latvia. What we wanted back then, was to simply disappear from the picture of the giant waves. I guess we did so, I guess anyone was around disguised of us. About those topics we spoke that night. That night which I need to remember in its very details to write about, so that I finally am able to forget, to let me go by this tendency filling me up taking care of me, and when they come to make questions about him, I will be able to answer, if I still have a voice - I don’t know.

He said that a reason for his increasing languishment, it sure had to be with an interlude to get the strength that was needing to confront the flight hours to reach the beach and then the parallel lines of streets uniform blocks with the fancy bad taste enormous houses including our family’s, that ended in the beach. And then farer but closer downtown, our apartment and our friends apartments, greyer.

He couldn’t even move from bed in the whole day but could manage to at least remain awake. None of the three days after the squawking espisode and Anthony standing in his head he ever felt ok. The first of these days he slept all its hours and after hours and then the entire afternoons and nights of the following two, he wasn’t even smoking so never minded about the lack of tobacco.