Bocha de grislindo

Bocha de grislindo
Y grislindo hoy es mi cielo vegeto industrial
Mi vida no puede más
Pero dame así, siempre más
disimulado.
Lento y persistí.

#18

We were finally asleep when it started in crescendo, the sound of the squawking crows once again. This time it seemed product of a group of them moving together homogeneously like a cloud. According as it got louder and more intense, it gave the impression they were getting closer and then flying around the building, around us. It seemed every time they turned the building more crows joined the cloud.
In the dark night appeared the darker cloud from the left of the window to disappear by its right. Each time they faded we looked at each other hoping they would continue they way somewhere else. We were starting to get it personal. Since three twenty till three forty lasted the crow crowd cloud reunion around the building and during that time we stayed stale in bed waiting for them to proceed and get to their end, as soon as he stood up and walked to the window then leaned to see, a bird flew in direction to his head and crushed our window. Just like in the movie, some of them followed and also crushed our window.
I was closing the blinds when we heard the glasses of the windows in the kitchen and in the hall, breaking. The kitchen had no blinds. I ran to close the door of the bedroom and then we both stayed sit in the pedestal table hugging in our last hug. I believed he felt asleep but it was all of sudden like a faint but a self inflicted one. I do not remember how long we stayed like that till the crows left I could already hear the neihgbours instead of them. They sounded astonished. I woke him up and we decided that that was a reality to face the following morning and went to bed.

The following morning I woke up and he didn’t. He was dead no doubts about it
I decided to stay in Latvia in the same apartment and with Anthony as my only company from then on and ever. In some way he reminded me of him. There is nothing more I could say. I got involved in something I realize too late it was wrong or maybe strong.

#17

I am writing this all because maybe it has to persist somewhere. The memories started to faint and are substituted by recent ones and all of them about Anthony. When we went to sleep that serene night, it seemed it could have been a one for dreaming with the beach. We spoke about the giant waves of the last season, and the way in that same last season we wanted to leave them behind and get to Latvia. What we wanted back then, was to simply disappear from the picture of the giant waves. I guess we did so, I guess anyone was around disguised of us. About those topics we spoke that night. That night which I need to remember in its very details to write about, so that I finally am able to forget, to let me go by this tendency filling me up taking care of me, and when they come to make questions about him, I will be able to answer, if I still have a voice - I don’t know.

He said that a reason for his increasing languishment, it sure had to be with an interlude to get the strength that was needing to confront the flight hours to reach the beach and then the parallel lines of streets uniform blocks with the fancy bad taste enormous houses including our family’s, that ended in the beach. And then farer but closer downtown, our apartment and our friends apartments, greyer.

He couldn’t even move from bed in the whole day but could manage to at least remain awake. None of the three days after the squawking espisode and Anthony standing in his head he ever felt ok. The first of these days he slept all its hours and after hours and then the entire afternoons and nights of the following two, he wasn’t even smoking so never minded about the lack of tobacco.

#16

Four days before departure and to walk through the latvian streets in order to let us feel them at least for two minutes. As long as two minutes would be something. They minutes made them entrance, we were finally feeling.
We were silently walking those streets, have been euphorically speaking during lunch about the idea of going directly to the beach in the first minute we reached land and picked our luggage back to our previous reality. No notice to any family nor friends, we would go to it directly, a beach that was already expecting for us in our minds, it, already ours. Newly renewed. Only after that we would decide how to continue, but not without the baptism. Without the baptism, in our heads, none of any other whatever to happen would be able to be pure, like we have known it before.
It was an irregular squawking what was sounding in through the Latvian air and crushing in the four of our foreigner ears. It seemed to us like different birds from distant locations recognized themselves and maybe they were also calling all the raven population for something like the other cloud that day of the terrace episode.
Silence was interrupted all of a sudden, he asked about it. About the squawking that I guess I was trying to ignore for the last thirty seconds twenty steps. Then I told him I did because I was already aware of it. The audible mess of the birds forcing all the people outside to be part of it continue all the way to the apartment.
Once we finally entered the hall; Anthony managed itself with three jumps and some very agitated mutilated wing moves to reach his head, it took me a while to stop laughing because of the really funny expresion in the face, even my stomach and some muscles around my mandibule hurted. Then he laughed too, but wanted it to get down, no way it would, and then we were all laughing again, I felt even Anthony was and furiously.
Then I told him to let the bird stay in his head and he did but said that its little claws were kind of nailing with anger. Later the standing in the head bird was forgotten and we saw a film in my computer. It was exactly what we wanted to see, the girl is finally brave and tells him no way then goes back with the silly at first but that truly cares about her guy. Movie was off then lights on, and Anthony was still standing like a statue with such a look in my frind's head, made me feel awkward.

#15

-Roots is what happen to plants then stay fixed -he said - but my quick feet can take me out of any place if I feel replaced. As quick as this. But I loved that spaguetti you made the forth of July so much I could have eaten it my whole left existing time.

#14

It was already eleven in the morning and he wouldn’t wake up. I shaked his left hand but he moved his face in both sides, looked at me and then soflty closed his eyes looking so pale I thought he was needing more rest. And he rested till three thirty in the afternoon when he came into the room Anthony was standing in his head looking so elegant and immature both, inseparable. I told him about how I found our last two packages of tobacco in the toilet again. He gestured he didn’t mind.
I knew he was getting to feel hopeless about belonging to a place and by that I mean a street, room, language, friend, taste of water.

#13

That one day that I didn’t feel that fond of the bird. We went out to the cinema and then we talked and he said he was ok with our crow and that it was only another one week till we would be taking off. I was really happy about it all, the day, its sun and wind and the pavement and him walking by my side leaving the old pavement behind.
Then, we said intrij, a fast almost mechanic intrij. And walking fast and thinking fast. Going left the corner fast when he realized we should come back to the grocery because we were running out of coffee and don’t remember what other ingredient for our meal that night.
I waited outside alone and the fat man wasn’t there, suddenly the idea of leaving the city felt to me like deeply rare, I mean, my bird was in the city.
But it was nice to continue with the good vibe. We were so gaily moving in the apartment, I put some bebop and he cooked and Anthony was there in the kitchen and they were again making the looking at each other straight in the eyes thing and it felt like we had a party going on.